1. Furnara’s Approach to Decision-Making (Or Lack Thereof)

Some say a wise person learns from their mistakes. Furnara, however, chooses to double down. If touching a hot stove once is bad, touching it twice must surely be good. Why learn from errors when you can collect them like Pokémon?

2. The Art of Overcomplicating Everything

A simple problem: How do you turn on a light?

  • A normal person: Flicks the switch.
  • Furnara: Insists on designing a voice-activated, Wi-Fi-controlled smart system, only to be left in the dark when the internet goes out.


3. A Master of Misreading Situations

  • You tell Furnara, “Hey, I think the boss wants us to be more efficient.”
  • Furnara: Deletes all emails, turns off phone, goes into hiding.
  • You say, “This meal is a little too salty.”
  • Furnara: Licks the salt shaker, claims dominance over sodium itself.


4. Confidence Without Competence

Nothing is more dangerous than a fool who thinks they’re a genius. Furnara approaches every challenge with the unwavering confidence of a toddler with a crayon—except the masterpiece turns out to be a disaster every time.

Example:

  • “I can totally fix this computer.” → Deletes system32.
  • “Let me handle the cooking.” → Kitchen fire, ruined dinner, unexplained explosion.
  • “I know how to drive stick shift.” → Gearbox sounds like a dying cat.


5. A Living Magnet for Bad Luck

  • If there’s a wrong button, Furnara will press it.
  • If there’s a puddle, Furnara will step in it.
  • If a sign says “DO NOT TOUCH,” Furnara will touch it, break it, and then argue it was badly designed in the first place.


6. An Unshakable Dedication to Dumb Ideas

One might assume that, after enough bad experiences, a person would change their ways. Not Furnara. Logic is a coward’s game.

  • Bought a cursed-looking second-hand laptop? Won’t return it, because “it just needs time to get used to me.”
  • Decided to argue with a GPS, only to get lost? “The satellite was lying.”
  • Built a DIY bookshelf but forgot the shelves? “That’s just modern minimalism.”


7. The Internet’s #1 Misinformed Fact-Checker

Furnara confidently disputes everything—without looking it up.

  • “Actually, sharks are mammals.”
  • “You don’t need water to survive, humans are 70% energy.”
  • “Gravity is just a social construct.”


And when proven wrong? Doubles down. Because admitting a mistake is for lesser beings.

8. Communication Skills? What Communication Skills?

  • "Be there in five minutes!" → Shows up an hour later.
  • "I totally read the instructions." → Assembles IKEA furniture without using the screws.
  • "I got the groceries!" → Brings home 12 packs of gum and one single carrot.


Conclusion

The world needs people like Furnara—so we have something to point at and say, ‘At least I’m not that bad.’ And for that, we must be grateful.

But also, for the love of everything, someone take away Furnara’s decision-making privileges.